We're down to 2 days left...

Well, I would like to offer my apologies as I realize it has almost been 2 weeks that I have not updated this thing. Sorry!! Just haven't had time to sit down and write.

In the past week, I've been reflecting a lot on my 9 (almost 10) weeks here in Daytona Beach. I can't believe I'm coming down to the last days. We're all starting to say, "I'm going to miss (fill in the blank)," and "remember when..." It's sad and I honestly don't know how I'm going to react when the day actually comes when I pack up all my things and drive away from my home of 10 weeks..never again to live in the El Caribe with 40 other students from across the nation. I'm going to miss my walk to work at 6:50am as I watch the sunrise (and construction men work) on S. Atlantic Avenue and I breathe in and smell breakfast foods from the IHOP across the street. I'm going to miss my roommates and waking up with 3 other girls in the room. I'm going to miss the Carribbean room where we have all of our organized events like Monday and Thursday night dinners and family night and women's time. I'm going to miss the random hang out times I get with people that have united DBPS '10 together. It's all coming to an end.

Yesterday was my last day of work. Surprisingly, it was extremely difficult to leave. If you asked me before I arrived in Daytona if I thought I'd end my job with tears in my eyes, I would say, "heck no!" But that sure is what happened. I went in yesterday hoping the day would just go slowly so that I could soak in every moment. It was awesome. The people were so fun. They gave me little things to remember them by and lots of hugs were shared (which I just love). Peter (my manager) told me that he'd been in the hotel business since he was 15 and there's only a handful of people that stand out in his mind and I will be one of them. He gave me a great big hug and I had to keep myself from crying in front of him. It was such a sweet moment, I don't think I'll ever forget that one. The day went on and I got cards and little gifts. I had been begging my supervisor, Justin, all week to buy me an ice-cream cake and he kept saying no..but about 1pm or so, I see a little purple shirt bouncing across the street holding a cake shaped bag. In walks Justin. He walked back to the break room, placed his little bag of secrecy in the freezer. Oh yes, it was my ice cream cake. :] At 3oclock, my work day was over and everyone gathered in the back to have cake. It was really sad, but I'm so thankful I was able to meet such amazing people. Throughout the summer I have wondered many times if my presence has made a difference. Friday was assurance that it has. They all honestly seemed as if it was sad to see me go and I just felt loved and appreciated. I pray that my (ex)co-workers..sad..were able to understand a little bit about Jesus because of me being here in Daytona for the summer. I will miss Perry's a lot, but I promised to email and send letters and get a free stay if I visit again. Ok, well that's up to them but I can hope. Anyways, my time here in Daytona is officially vacation until Tuesday, but I have loved working at Perry's and will miss it!

Gosh, ya'll. I'm sorry it's been so long since I last blogged. I'm trying to think of all that has gone on since last time. We had Tacky Prom a few weeks ago and last week we had Christmas in July for our socials. Today we had Sun-up to Sun-down where we have literally spent every waking moment together. It's been fun but I'm sleeeepy!! Tomorrow we are going back to the juvenile detention center to talk to the kids again and just love on them. And on Tuesday, we're all packing up and heading home. I can't believe it's in 2 days. Project will be OVER!! Wow. Thanks to everyone for the constant prayers and support for me being here. I honestly can't tell you how much it has meant to me. I know God has shaped me in ways I can't even see yet and I think that in the next few months I will have to digest everything I've learned here and apply it to real life.

God has taught me a lot about myself and a lot about His character. He's brought up things here that I didn't even know I dealt with and allowed me to go through things that I never thought I'd go through. I have struggled with things here that I didn't even think would be an issue but they have been place here for some specific purpose. I have learned so much about loving people out of the love of Christ. He is the SOURCE of our love and joy. I have thought for so long that if I just ask Jesus to be able to love people that will be enough..but we love out of the overflow that He loves us. We can't love purely until we know the Father. When we cease to spend time with Him, we lose out on so much. We arrive naked on the battlefront with no armor to protect us. I've also learned about evangelism and how to be creative in sharing my faith. Sometimes I had to forfeit all I had in me to go talk to people I didn't know about Jesus, and sometimes I felt like it was useless. But I think trusting in the fact that it's the Holy Spirit that works in us and it's not by our own power that we speak. It's been a huge realization. Although I am definitely still learning it and will have to put it into practice back at school.

Something else I think I should update you on is my wonderful boyfriend. Garrett is officially in Newport News!! He had his first week working for President Trible!! I'm so proud of him! He's living with two other guys from school and I'm so glad he's going to be around this year. Such a huge blessing. God is so good. I get to see him in exactly a week from today and I can't wait to hug him!! Pray for him this coming Friday as he'll be leading another youth worship night at his church at home called the Awakening. I know he'll do great..glory to God for the outcome. I miss him a ton and this summer has been really difficult to be away but I think it has brought some necessary struggles in order to grow us and make us strong. God's taught us both a lot during this time.

Anyways, I'm just hanging out watching Remember the Titans with Sharonda. Love this movie. Time to go, but thanks for reading!!

P.S...I sent a few letters out and I'm going to try to send a few more before I leave, but since we only have a few more days left, I would suggest no more sending letters to me. Thanks!! Love you all!

The picture is of me clocking out on my last day of work

Another early morning

Dearest blog followers,

I would just like to inform all of you that I do not anticipate the day when I am out of school and have to work full time for a living. It will not be pleasant. I am currently at work and have been here for approximately 1 hour..and let me tell you, 7am is eeeeaaarrrllyyy!! No one should have to see that side of the morning! It is ironic that when I return home from Daytona I will be able to start my summer vacation! I look forward to sleeping in, laying by the pool, and relaxing before going back to school a few weeks later. Ahh, the bliss!

Anyway, onto more practical matters. I apologize for the lull in my blogging. I feel like I'm just going, going, going and I never have time to really sit down and write (which I don't have now because I'm actually standing). I can't believe we only have 3 weeks left here! Riiiidiculous!

Last week was a fun one. Last Monday we had our mid-project banquet before the staff left on Wednesday and that was really fun. Each D-group did a little something for their D-group leader; from skits, and poems, and songs, to bad skits, and poems, and songs. It was great. A real time of laughter and family. I loved it. We all got dressed up and took pictures and just had fun. Then on Wednesday the staff packed their bags and headed home, and we were left on our own for the rest of the summer. Wooohooo!! We had Family Night where our new Project Director spoke and Men's and Women's time. It is really awesome to watch the students step up and take leadership roles. I just want to sit back and soak it all in. There's so much that goes on here everyday and sometimes I feel like I'm too busy to really reflect and process. It can make things slightly difficult. I really want to be more disciplined. That's something I've learned about myself in my time here. I have all these ideas of things I want to do, but I'm not disciplined enough to follow through. I've even realized that when it comes to every day things such as waking up early to have a consistent quiet time or keeping things neat that I just am not very disciplined. I want to be better about that so keep me accountable!! Yes, you! I have learned a lot of little things like that about myself in my time here. I really want to change but I'm unable to do that alone. Pray that God does the transforming and not Rachel. I think by being thrown into a new environment where I literally knew no one and had to get a job and everything I have just grown and matured in ways I didn't think I would ever. But stuff here is difficult sometimes..actually a lot of times. I don't always have time or energy to do the things I want. A lot of times I have to do things I don't want. I'm used to being in an environment where I am all that matters and I just have to take care of myself. It's not like that here. I'm learning about unity of a body of Christ and how one person really can break that. I'm learning the true meaning of not only looking out for yourself but also for the interests of others and how that actually does make a difference (shocker: someone in scripture actually knew what they were talking about!) It's crazy that when you actually care to dive into people's lives how much it changes you.

Yesterday one of the new students leaders gave a talk on the theme of the week about walking in faith and love. He said something that seems pretty obvious but it struck me. He said that love is never ending. It doesn't cost anything. You can give out as much or as little as you want. Let me ask myself a question..Rachel, how often do you give out the minimum amount of love possible? If I answer the question honestly, it's like I view it as if it'll run out tomorrow so I have to ration it. I'm thinking that I should give out the minimum level of love possible so not to exhaust myself. Well that's dumb. I know, you're thinking that I'm a horrible person and that I need to love more. Or maybe you're thinking, for the first time, that you do the same thing. Why? Why do we live our lives thinking that we're number #1 and our comfort is all that matters. Let me tell you. It's been hard for me here when I come home from work and all I want to do is relax and I'll have someone asking me to do something or to meet up with them and talk or someone needs a favor. All that is in me screams "no." Why? How hard is it to just spend a little extra time with people and just love on them? What do I lose from my life? In all honesty, I probably gain more than I lose. But we are so focused on ourselves and looking out for OUR best interest. I challenge you to love actively and intentionally. Spend a little extra time with the people that talk your ear off. Bake some brownies for the people who always mooch off your food. Sacrifice a nap (oh heavens) and just hang out with people after a long day of work. It's easy to give out of surplus...it's not as easy to give out of sacrifice. So as I continue to learn, this week, about the importance of loving the way that Christ loves, pray for me as I will most definitely face difficulties along the way.

I am loving it here in Daytona but I am getting ready to come home. I think I have said that before but I just miss home. A few days ago, our adoptive family from church took us out to dinner and as I was walking to be seated, I saw a man sitting and eating by himself. I thought of my dad and how much I miss him. It's crazy, like everything makes me think of him here. A man walked in yesterday to Perry's and had the same mannerisms that my dad has, and I just got all sappy and started missing him. I'm ready for a daddy hug :] I'll be happy to get home and see him!

Pray for the last few weeks here to be good ones. Pray for us all to still be focused, it's really easy to see the end nearby and just want to hang out all the time and have fun. On Saturday we were supposed to have an outreach during the days but it ended up getting pushed to Sunday. We had the entire day to just hang out and fellowship with each other and it was very unifying. We all hung out by the pool, did the slip and slide with dish soap as the maintenance crew looked on and laughed at us. We ate ice pops, and swam in the ocean. Later that night we went to a disc golf park and had "tie dye" wars. We all had squirt guns filled with different colored tie dye and wore white t-shirts with trash bags underneath (so to not stain our skin, although it happened anyway), and we ran around shooting each other with tie dye. It was just a great, relaxing day with friends. Probably one of the best days I have had here with everyone. That is all for now. I know my posts always seem random but I just write as things come to my mind. Also, something really big you could pray for, I'm just struggling with some personal issues and I'm having a really hard time trusting the Lord. That being said, I am officially finished! I will try and update again this week since I've been slacking! Enjoy your Tuesday! :]

Big week!

It's Saturday night and I'm sitting in my room alone, enjoying the calm. There are fireworks going off outside my window and I can see them light up the sky but can't hear them, thankfully. I'm just in the quiet. The only sounds I can hear are the air conditioner next to my bed, the crunching of my chex mix, and the keys as I type this sentence..and the rest of this blog. It's nice and relaxing. I am thankful for these moments.

There are several other moments I am thankful for this past week. As I share with you these moments, picture them as if you were there. Some might make you laugh, others might be hard for you to read..but feel them with me.

In my last blog I shared about Jordan and Krystal's wedding and the weekend that I had in North Carolina for that. Sunday was a day filled with mixed emotions. I left Garrett, which was hard, but as I returned to, what is now family, I felt a sense of belonging. Everyone was waiting to take the project picture, and as I walked up, I just felt like I was home with my family. Over the course of the last 6 weeks, I've really learned to love the people here on project. There are my wonderful roommates, Sharon, Christy, and Emily who make me laugh all the time and bring so much joy to my life. Then there's my family group; Lauren, Kristin, Lexie, Anthony, and both Colins. We've had our rough times but God is teaching us to love through everything. Next is community team (some people overlap so I'll just name the ones I haven't named yet); Tessa, Travis, Jeremy, Shae, Rachel, Boston, Kyle, Samantha and Lindsey. We plan socials and fun activities. There's all the staff; Earle and Cara, Rich and Becky (who sadly had to go home early), Jan and John, Lindsey and Jeff, Samantha and Josh, Kyle, Stephanie, Audrey, Grayson, Katie, and Christi. That's not even everyone on project..but these people have become family. I love seeing their faces, and when staff leaves..I'm going to miss them, but I'm excited to start the journey on my own. Coming back from NC into this group of people was so refreshing and encouraging. As I gave hugs and did some catching up, I just felt like this is my home. The El Caribe may just be another hotel to you, but to me..it's home.

Monday was great. I got to sleep in and recover from the long weekend. I ran errands and hung out with Jeremy for a lot of the day. I think he's leaving project..which makes me extremely sad because he's probably my best friend here. It was good getting to talk with him though. He is a great encouragement here and I'm going to miss him.
That night we had project dinner and every project dinner we have a handful of Russians come and eat with us. Sometimes it's a little awkward because they really only just come for the free food (that we paid for)..but it's a great ministry opportunity. We have them in our territory. After dinner on Monday's we always have Family Night which is just like a large group meeting..and they usually leave before that. Well..not tonight. Monday night, the Russian students stayed for the meeting! They heard the gospel presented. (I think Earle catered a little bit more of his message to them than to us..which was great, but funny. "And after Jesus died, He rose again! That's how we know He's different from all other religions"...yes, Earle..we know that.) I got to stick around and talk to a few of them. They taught me a few words in Russian, and I just couldn't help but think..they think they've got it all. I wondered if they even realized they were in need of something more. I wonder if anyone without Jesus really understands that they're missing something. It really makes you live differently when you have that eternal focus. People aren't just people. Every person we come into contact with is a special creation of our Lord and Savior, and if we really love Jesus like we say we do, we'll love them just the same and our hearts will break over their "lostness." Think about it.

My next "moment" occurred on Wednesday and continued into Thursday. If you haven't already heard, Garrett got the job working at CNU..meaning he'll be in Newport News when I go back to school in the fall. Thank you, thank you, thank you, Lord. My story starts on Wednesday night. I think I was more nervous than he was. I spent the whole night before just praying for Garrett to get the job, but also that the Lord's will would be enough for me..even if I didn't get what I wanted. We skyped that night and I prayed for him..and Garrett said that whether he got the job or not, he wanted God to still be worshiped above all else. That was hard for me because that was opening my hand and surrendering it to the Lord, knowing there was absolutely nothing I could do. I had trouble sleeping that night because I just had so much on my mind, but I knew it would all be ok because God was in control. Well, it came. I woke up that morning and just prayed that there would be no question in President Trible's mind whether or not to choose Garrett. As I prayed for the Lord's will, I just felt this overwhelming feeling of peace. I read scripture that, in any normal situation would have nothing to do with it, but I know God allowed me to read it on purpose. I got to work and still was thinking about it, but in a different way now. I knew God would take care of Garrett and do what's best. 9oclock rolled around, and I was praying like a mad woman. About an hour and a half later, I get a text message from Garrett telling me to call him when I get the chance..he was out of the interview. Let me tell you, I must have had blood going 1000 miles a minute because my heart was just pounding. I had an excuse to step out for a few minutes and when I called Garrett..he told me the news, and immediately, as if they were just waiting to be let out..the tears came. You know that feeling..when your face gets hot, your eyes get teary, and you just want to hug someone?? I can't express how I felt. I was in shock, but I knew God was leading him there so in a sense..I was like..well duh. We talked for a few more minutes, I got off the phone..and I saw two of the project guys who work with me. They must have thought I was crazy because I couldn't stop grinning from ear to ear. As I walked away, I thanked the Lord for His provision for Garrett. He will be starting July 26th. When I move back to Newport News in August, he'll be there to greet me. Thank you all for your prayers. I am so thankful. Our God is good.

I also would like to share something from that night that happened here on project. I won't go into much detail because it is a bit of a private matter..but I think it's something extremely interesting. Thursday nights here on project we always split up and have men's and women's time. This particular women's time we had two guest speakers come and share with us about their lives. They told us about their pasts and the mistakes they had made...two random women, laying bare in front of us in order to show us that we've all made mistakes and God will reward those who bring it to light. It was incredible. The night continued, and as we sat in the large circle listening to these women, they opened up the floor for us to share our "skeletons." One by one, the students in the room made themselves vulnerable and shared their deepest secrets..some for the first time ever. It was a healing night as well as a night meant for honesty. It feels good to be honest. It feels good to share your mistakes and have people come hug you afterward. That's how Thursday night was. Lots of hugging, lots of crying, and lots of loving. We are who we are. We've all messed up. We all look back on our pasts and put our heads down in shame. But God wants to use us BECAUSE of our failures. We were not created as perfect people. Once we accept the fact that we're all the same..we gain a better understanding of how to love.

I know this is long..but read these lyrics. Try listening as you read

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88xHIwd4CWM

Healing Begins by Tenth Avenue North

So you thought you had to keep this up
All the work that you do
So we think that you're good
And you can't believe it's not enough
All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside

So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

So let it fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now
We're here now, oh

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark


What a picture of grace and forgiveness. Come to terms with your past. God has forgiven you..sometimes the hardest part is forgiving yourself.


Friday was a long day..but very good. I went to work and was going to visit Nana in Orlando right after I got off. I was still excited from all that had happened the day before, but I was tired. When I got to work, the Maintenance manager, Jimmy Thorpe, walked in as well. I talked to him for a little bit and asked him how he was doing. He's had kidney problems for a while and is getting a new kidney on Wednesday. Interested in knowing who's kidney he's receiving? His name is Doug. Doug Thorpe. He's Jimmy's son. What a picture of love and sacrifice. He is literally giving Jimmy a piece of himself. As Jimmy was telling me about the 6 hour procedure, I just prayed for him and his son. It just brought so much joy to my heart to hear about the love a son has for his father. Pray for them both with me as they undergo this procedure. Also, pray for boldness on my end that I would be able to tell Jimmy that I'm praying for him. I wanted to and I was so close to it, but the words seemed to just be stuck in my mouth! Ah!! Boldness!! The Spirit is within me!

After work I came back to my room, grabbed my stuff, and left for Orlando. Nana and I went to dinner and then watched a movie together. It was nice. We got to have girl talk and she told me about her childhood and about her parents. It was nice to hear her talk about those things. I've never really heard them before but I enjoyed listening to her just talk. I went to bed at a reasonable hour..thankfully..and got to sleep in! Woohoo!! We sat in her sunroom and talked until it was time for me to go. I was sad to leave already, but I'm thankful she lives so close that I can do that every so often. I'm really enjoying being close to her because I've never really had the chance to talk with her about anything real. I love her. Pray for her friend's son, though. He has some type of disease that put him in a coma, and although he's doing better..he's not in the clear yet. Thanks!

Well..I believe that is all. I got to catch up with Jenna this week which was nice. I miss my best friend..I can't wait to get back to school and have pillow talk!! :] Her sweet boyfriend wrote me a letter this week..what a good guy, it made my day. Also her momma's birthday was yesterday!! Happy birthday to you, Momma Wall! Nicoley and family are in PA right now with all their family for 4th of July. They're gonna have fun!! HER mom sent me delicious homemade treats!! Thanks Momma G..they're sooo good! :] Krystal and Jordan, I hope ya'll had an amazing time on your honeymoon! I'll be praying for the start of your new life together!! Mom and Pops..I love you both very much and I can't wait to give ya'll biiiiig hugs when I get home. You are such amazing parents and I am so thankful for you. Tell Colin I love him and am praying for him. And Gareypoo..I'm so happy you and can't wait to live like 10 minutes away from you! Yayy!

The end. Thanks for reading.